I took Dan to the hospital for a minor procedure recently. When we checked in and completed all of the paperwork prior to the procedure, I had to sign on the line that said "Signature of Responsible Adult".
This cracked me up.
How on earth did this happen? How did I get here? I don't really recognize this person sometimes... when someone asks for the responsible adult in the room, I look around, over my shoulder, then back in shock and say "Who, Me?" It feels weird. But its real, its happening whether I like it or not.
I'm a grown up. I have to deal with heavy stuff that I'd rather just ignore. I have to take my husband to the hospital and be his "responsible adult", I have to deal with death and taxes, and the whole gamut of mundane grown up stuff.
I also have to take chances. I have to make decisions - even though there is no guarantee that things will work out or that I am making the "right" choice. I have to realize that sometimes there is no right or wrong, and I have to accept the gray areas. And sometimes, when it is clear what the right thing to do is, I have to go ahead and do it, even if it breaks my heart. I have to do things that terrify me. I have to read between the lines, I have to accept things in myself and others that I would rather not accept. I have to be compassionate with myself and others when I would rather scold or condemn. I have to live with uncertainty, with wide open spaces, with complicated feelings and emotions.
But that's also the good news. I get to live with WIDE OPEN SPACES. I get to direct my own life, I get to say yes or no; to move in one direction or the other. I get to experience life, I get to feel all of it, every little last drop of it. I get to bask in my humanity - and I get to share that experience with other people. I get to connect with them. I get to help them - and allow them to help me.
I get the good with the bad, the beautiful with the ugly, the roses with the thorns, the darkness with the dawn.
So when the good and the beautiful and the roses and the dawn finally arrive, they are that much sweeter and I can appreciate them that much more.
I'm starting to see a new dawn on the horizon in some areas of my life that have been pretty dark for a while. The past few weeks have brought answers for me.
There are some things in life that seem as though they will never be resolved, that they are our burden to bear for eternity. But then suddenly, one sweet day, the clouds part; the fever breaks, and a glimmer of hope shines into the darkness. And from that moment forward, we know that every little thing is going to be alright.
It's fascinating to see how resolutions arrive and how they unfold in our lives sometimes. They are certainly not in the packages that we imagined or ever dreamed possible. You know, God is one heck of a storyteller. Some of the tales he spins are so bizarre, and the plot twists so unexpected that it almost seems like he's really having a blast up there with our stories. And his timing is impeccable. Sometimes excruciating for us, but always exactly right. JRR Tolkien ain't got nothing on God.
I think sometimes, God just finally looks down on us and says: You've suffered enough. I think I'll add a beautiful blossom to that thorny rose bush you've been tending to all spring. Then he sits back to admire the story that he has written.
"This old world we're living in is mighty hard to beat. We get a thorn with every rose, but ain't the roses sweet." Stanton
Till next time,
© Haley McManigal 2016
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Haley McManigal and haleymcmanigal.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.