Here it is... January. A fresh, New Year.
I love a clean slate. Another chance to get it right.
Every year, I have the best of intentions. I vow to finally get my eating habits under control, to kick that nasty sugar habit once and for all. I swear that I'll be the best version of myself that I can be; I'll stay cool, raise my awareness, live in the moment, meditate every day, blah, blah, blah.
But then the challenges come: the birthday cake that I long to eat, "that time of the month" when I'm hungry and emotional. A trying situation with a coworker, an argument with my husband that leaves me less than cool and collected. And I fail. I fail to be the person that I promised myself I would be this year. And instead of brushing myself off, and getting right back at it the next day, I say "what's the use", or "it was stupid of me to think that I could actually change". And my sugar habit spirals out of control again, I stop meditating, I allow myself to have dessert three times a day, and convince myself that this is somehow ok.
Before I know it, I'm in complete denial.
I've been down that road more years than I care to admit, so I've decided that it's time for a new approach.
So I'm changing things up this year: I have one and only one resolution for 2016 and it is this: I will fully love and accept myself NO MATTER WHAT.
I have to admit, part of me is freaking out over this. My inner critic is screaming at the top of it's lungs: "NOOOOO. You will have no motivation if you don't punish yourself for your mistakes! You'll end up fat and alone and the world will end if you decide to be kind to yourself!!!" (Dramatic, much?) But I'm tuning out that pesky little lizard, and I'm doing it anyway. Because I have proven time and again that the other way does not work.
No matter how much control I try to have over myself, even if I succeed for a while, beating myself up over my shortcomings and my mistakes DOES NOT MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON.
We'll see how this goes. I've already failed to follow through with a few things I wanted to do this year, but instead of throwing my hands up in defeat, I've just re-arranged my to-do list, and added these items further down the list. I wanted to start a series on my blog in January spotlighting various creative folks, but then I got slammed at work, and didn't have the time, energy or brain-power to follow through. This is a little disappointing, but not the end of the world. I'll just work on launching that idea later in the year. I also have a goal to do something creative each week, to stay tuned into my creativity and keep the juices flowing. But if I miss a week here or there, I am not going to lose sleep over it. It's the intention and the energy that I direct toward things that are important to me that matter; not the fact that I do everything perfectly.
It's better to do a little out of love, than a lot out of obligation or fear.
That's my motto for this new year. Look out world, i'm a whole new me!
What about you? What do your New Year's Resolutions (or Non-resolutions) look like? Let me know in the comments, I'd love to hear from you.
Till next time,
© Haley McManigal 2016
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