That awkward moment when....

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the fragile, terrifying, and utterly exhilarating act of  putting yourself out there and going for something that you want.  I think of the times that I have scoffed at someone doing something new or different or out of character for them.    In the past, I would look at someone awkwardly going for their dream with pity, I was embarrassed for them, bless their heart.  But now, I only notice the beauty in these acts.  I smile every time I see someone making a fool of him/herself trying something new.  I cheer when I see young people trying to grow into a role they aspire to.  I used to think of these kinds of things as someone trying to be something that they are not.  I used to see these people as amateurs or wannabes.  Especially myself, I was so uncomfortable putting myself out there to experiment with new and different things…  I didn’t want to be a fraud or a fake.  The part that I didn’t realize though is that no one is born knowing what they want to make out of life.  You have to try different things on for size.  Sometimes they work out, sometimes they do not.  But trying is the only way to find out. Now, I realize that when myself or others reach toward different and greater things in life, maybe instead of trying to be something that we are not, we’re simply learning how to be what we are.